How You Like Dem Apples?

My mom swears shes never been drunk, let alone drank more than two glasses of wine in a single sitting, but I know when she was younger than I am now, she was in a car when some friends were dropping acid. And she was a passenger.

I know my dad had some good times when he was younger because cousin S---- told us so. But he never admits to any of that and I can't ask him about it. But he did just read us a letter from someone he went to high school with who thanked him for saving her and her friends from the police after they had imbibed some hallucinogenic substance.

I have an aunt and uncle who can't make it through a week on the East Coast without some bud. But they said they've been smoking the shit N--- got from Rutgers for days and they're still waiting to get high. My aunt tolerates my high-strung mother at dinner with the bar of Valium she split with my brother before they sat down.

I just drank for a fortnight like I was at a wedding and no one seems to mind. I swear the green gets to me more than the white girl ever will. But another uncle says both of them are forbidden. As long as I continue to drink instead of smoke or snort, then I'm ok in his eyes. As long as someone gets a sloppy signature on a little piece of paper, I know I'll be able to finish writing this.